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From: wshaib@bcarh47e.bnr.ca (W. Shaib)
Subject: WPI News Release
Message-ID: <1993Jun13.191527.2350@bnr.ca>
Sender: news@bnr.ca (usenet)
Nntp-Posting-Host: 47.196.128.192
Organization: I only speak for myself... 
Date: Sun, 13 Jun 1993 19:15:27 GMT
Lines: 79


CYBERSPACE, Earth (WPI) - The first International Symposium of the Lebanese
Away from the Motherland (I.S.L.A.M.) was held over the past weekend on
the international computer network known as "Usenet". Guests from over 10
different European and North American countries participated in this event
which had as its main objective promoting dialogue and understanding among
the Lebanese diaspora. WPI's on-location correspondent Sue Shar summarizes
scenes and experiences from the event.
The symposium was officially opened with the lebanese national anthem 
"killun 3indun sayyarat" (tr. "All of them have cars" - a delightful anthem
describing the lebanese love for tradition despite all the technology in
the world today). No sooner had the anthem been played than it was 
promptly archived in epfl.liasun.ch:/users/choueiry. 
The opening session was presided over by R.N. Zantout who stressed in his 
opening remarks the importance of lifting the arms embargo now in force
in Bosnia. He quoted extensively from Syed al-Turabi (IBUH): 

  R. Zantout: "... and so ladies and gentlemen I urge you to support our
               brothers and sisters in Bosnia who are facing massacres,
               rape, and starvation. We must, as moslems..."
   E. Mourad: [interrupting] "may I remind everyone that we're here to talk
              about Lebanon!!!! Alla, Libnan, 3awn w bass... when will the
              syrians redeploy?"
  I. Ballouz: "I never thought I'd ever say this, but I *do* agree with 
               Elie. Lebanon is passing through a critical phase now. 
               According to "al-sharQ al-awsatt" magazine, Dr. Hoss claims
               that the actions of the Hariri govt. will cost us 25 B$ in the
               next 5 years..."
   E. Mourad: "When are the syrians going to redeploy???"
  N. R. Rizk: "Oh, gimme a break Elie... The only occupation we have is in the
               south, and that's where we should focus our attention. I 
               support Hizbullah's resistance (even though I'm a maronite)...
               Ittajihu januuban..."
   A. Khalil: "talking of januuban, they just discovered a 400 billion year-old
               fly in jezzine... I bet you it was those revolutionary
               fertilizers I read about in alt.chemo.weird.science.hohum..."
   B. Hassan:  [apparently having trouble with his newsreader] "... peace, bass.
              "             peace, bass."
  R. Zantout: "what was that you said brother hassan?"
   B. Hassan:  [Still having trouble] "                   peace, bass."
B. Ludvigsen: [out of nowhere] "Excuse me, but can anyone tell me who this
              beautiful singer I saw on Egyptian TV is?"
    W. Shaib: "Borre, man, you should give it a rest... This is the picture
               of Hosni Mubarak... you need some sleep (and a pair of glasses)"
   F. Nassar: "What we need in lebanon is a paradigm shift. A global solution.
               My proposal here, "Snowhite and the Seven Dwarfs", provides
               an economically sound, existentialist, Hegelist, yet realistic
               approach to solving our crisis... I say we should convert the
               Harissa shrine and church into a multi-national, interdenominat-
               ional meditation centre funded by the UNESCO, which promotes
               love and ..."
  R. Zantout: "Thanks brother Nassar, that's your alloted time...."
   F. Nassar: [ignoring him...] "... cooperation between all religions. Israel
               and lebanon can be part of a joint economic union. I have many
               jewish friends.  I usually meet them at my dentist's waiting
               room..." 
     Someone: "Man Fadi, you're great... you're wonderful... I'm your admirer,
               your fan... (may I have an autograph)"
everyone else: "Zzzzzzzzz...!"
        Kamie: [in perfect japanese] "watashiwa anatao aishimas..."
    E. Mourad: "yeah, but when will the syrians redeploy...?"

At this point, Mr. Zantout closed the opening session with the promise that
the next session will deal with the current issues in lebanon, mainly the
Internet, X.25, BIA, the cellular phone network, and the "ta3yeenat
idariyyah".
When asked by WPI's Sue Shar whether the opening session was tough to handle
with all the chaos and different points of view, Mr. Zantout said: "Not at
all. As a matter of fact we had nothing unusual happen... This is what it's
always been like on SCL..."
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The events and characters mentioned above are purely fictional [yeah, right!],
any resemblance to events or persons in real life is unintentional [sure!].
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wshaib@bnr.ca | "Well I'm sittin' here at the bay, watchin' the tires roll 
              |  away..."   -Goodyear commercial
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940202 / borrel@hiof.no